Recipe for Relaxing

Sometimes anxiety comes. It comes to all of us at different times, for different reasons and in different ways. Anxiety brings on complicated emotions. We feel trapped. We sometimes with this anxiety can feel unable to get out of a sticky web that covers and suffocates our mouth and clouds our eyes. It can feel as though we are drowning in a large body of endless water, not knowing where to come up for air.

In my life time I have worried much about what others are thinking when they think of me. I have cared far too much for people's approval, from second grade on. Did I say something that came off as rude or was perceived incorrectly? Did I unknowingly do something that could explode into a war between people when I had no intention of even being noticed? How did my expression lines in my face appear just then, confused or angry? Often while growing up and through school, I had people tell me, "I thought you were a snob" or "I thought you hated me!" When none of these many things and reactions I heard from others were ever how I really intended on acting, or feeling. Their impressions were wrong! I always felt slightly sad, pretty isolated and alone while growing up. My childhood at first glance, seems to me to be dark, quiet, with few friends, feeling awkward, sticking out oddly and never getting to feel like that last puzzle piece, making a complete picture, fitting in perfectly. I felt like the old, broken toy, unrepairable and dirt ground in not able to be cleaned.

I am not sure if it just was the particular kids I was surrounded by in my neighborhood or school system, I do not think so. I just never felt like fully relaxing into life, or excelling at anything. I think the problem was just with me. I didn't do horribly at anything and in many activities like some sports and art I was actually quite good. I felt coordinated and confident. But each time a bully pushed me down, insulted me or report card came back average, I continued to travel deeper and deeper into my own awkward darkness. I felt like the color grey up until about the age of 18. Then my palette began to emerge and I refused to be lonely. From college on, I have felt like a spectrum of gold and began to come into my own.

But childhood is always underneath though, for everyone. And from time to time these days, I feel those wounds, that self esteem, uphill battle creep into the back most layers of my psyche and come through, here and there, in my 30 year old adult experiences. From a survey I conducted, it showed that 100% of people felt they had one or more bullies within their childhood. 0% of those who voted chose the answer "I never had a bully." We all have sorrow and have all had school-aged struggles, each one of us! So I know we are all dealing with a patchwork past and have all had many opportunities to deal with sadness and anxiety.

As an Army wife, having to be alone often and meet new people almost all the time, there are plenty of opportunities to feel sad, scared, lonely, worried and filled with anxiety. Today I passed a woman in the store who I felt I had offended on accident the first time we had met. I was still adjusting from a serious jet lag, months after arriving at a new international home and was out of sorts when I met her at a Halloween party. She was kind to me and I was agitated with my toddler who kept running off out of my vision. I was hoping that my tired eyes and irritation with toddler-hood did not appear to be annoyance with her or our conversation. When I passed her today, she seemed like she did not want to talk to me, when we met eyes and recognized one another and I said a kind hello and she quickly said "hi" back and rushed past me. I felt anxiety for her thoughts. I felt anxiety thinking of that party and my daughter misbehaving. I felt anxiety for our time change. And I later found myself in my car hardly able to breathe over such a silly experience. She might have been having a bad day, or was in a hurry. She might think I am a bad mother. She might have just lost a loved one. She might have been totally fine and I was exploding my worries upon her image. It brought me home to thinking about letting go of silly things and reflecting upon my worrisome childhood spilling into my todays.

But in my sad adolescence came some bright rays of sun. Two separate times, I had two profound ideas each time strike into my mind as sure as a blinding, bright lightning crash into your front yard in the middle of the night. These ideals and epiphanies are what still guide me and my ease in life, to this day. And when repeated as a mantra, can release me from just about any anxiety.

The first bright light flew into and out of me when I was at a church self esteem-youth group meeting. The leaders were talking to us about love and relationships, and I think they even brought up sex. I was about 11 years old. They asked of us, "how do you think you know for sure if you are in a loving relationship?" The leader looked to me for a response and I immediately said (out of no where), "you cannot love anyone else until you know you love yourself." The youth leader was pretty much silenced and stopped dead in his tracks. He laughed and continued on, saying yes, I was right, but then had to dumb down the rest of the conversation for the other 11 and 12 year olds so they would understand. It was a profound thought for an 11 year old and the teacher told my mother how mature he thought I was. I had no idea why that flew out of my mouth, but it came from my subconscious.

The next crash of electricity came to me at the end of high school. I was feeling overwhelmed about arguing with my parents, preparing for college, feeling misplaced and lost, lonely and trapped in a maze of emotions I had no way of knowing how to get out of. And so I went to a journal that I had kept. It had artwork, magazine clippings and inspirational quotes in it. It was my place to go to make me feel better. And in it, this day, I wrote 5 clear, concise words to myself:

"When life gets complicated, SIMPLIFY."

And these would be the most profound words I repeated time and again to myself for the next 12 years. It is such a simple thing to do. Get rid of junk. Stop yourself from worrying about what other's think REMOVE those people from your life anyway. Let go of what you cannot control. Throw away the torture of things you wish you could change. Dump wasted heart ache into the trash. Clean your insides. Let go of, well, everything. And what you CAN control: SIMPLIFY. And feel the weight lift.

We have to love ourselves. We cannot do anything for anyone if we do not. If you feel busy, too busy for yourself or to be good to your kids or your family, stop all the running around. Hey, quit that job that keeps you busy! Whatever it might be that is preventing you from taking time to clean, relax, let go, enjoy, and just........be, be simple. Do not think about the way it might be complicated to let go of stuff......just simplify. Usually the hardest decisions are the easiest answers. Straight and to the point, one solution. It is our emotions that complicate it all. Let go of your emotions. Simplify. Throw away clutter. Wipe the slate clean.

Clutter can even be things we cherish....we just have to get rid of some of our "stuff" in order to feel tidy, in order to release old feelings we might have attached with the things. This can be an example of cluttered emotions or an example of the material things in your home or space and often times these examples can go hand in hand.

And one thing that is hard to do is, if you have something in your life that bothers you, irritates you or brings you down, change it! And if for some reason you cannot change it, then change how you feel about it.

So to remind again, love yourself first. And when life gets complicated, simplify.

Relaxation is a way to love one's self. And from there comes the quiet to know how to simplify.

My favorite recommendation for relaxing is a simple meditation. When you have a chance to be alone, or are laying in bed trying to get to sleep at night:

1. close your eyes softly

2. relax the muscles of your face

3. relax your tongue

4. relax and loosen the place where your thumbs root into your hands

5. let your belly be at ease

6. and finally, relax your feet and toes

From there, give all your troubles to the atmosphere around you, outside of you, the sky or to a prayer, let them float away from you for just a moment in an exhalation and just..........be. Then the clear choices will eventually and lightly materialize into your mind and ease and relaxation will be gifted to you, if not right away, surely it will come in swift time. I promise.

As those troubles come back down, returning into you, now that your mind is more at ease and clear, the solutions balance, order and regulate themselves quite simply. Today feeling all out of sorts about my new life, I remembered my simplicity. I let go of worry about what others think, it is none of my business anyway. And if I see that fellow military wife again, I will stop her, tell her I had a hard time getting used to this time zone and hope I never offended her. If she feels strange about me, we are not in line to be friends anyway. If she thinks I am nuts, then we will most likely have a good laugh! And that is that. Now, onto reading my anxiety-free book and feeling simple.

Love, Peace and Rock n' Roll y'all

Heart Songs and Happy Bellies

We have been blessed to be so enjoying getting to know our new Japanese friends, while living in Okinawa. We met this wonderful family at a festival when our children were smiling at one another. The husband, Kunyo expressed wanting to learn English better and we expressed the same about our journey toward learning his language. So we exchanged telephone numbers and have been having regular dinner parties at each other's homes every other weekend or so and stumbling and laughing through translation, ever since. It has been a fantastic, joyous and loving learning experience.

We had Kunyo's family over to our home the last time. At this party his wife, Yayuee asked me what kind of food was my favorite. Not at all yet speaking one another's languages well, I took her to my pantry and showed her what I usually cook. Before ever moving to Japan, my favorite food has always been sushi since my freshman college dorm roommate introduced me to it. Sushi dinners became a regular thing with my sisters and I over the years, also. Both my my college roommate and sisters taught me the way and I have been hooked on this light, healthy and artistic food for over 12 years now. So I showed my new friend my sushi-seaweed-rolling sheets (Nori) in my pantry and signaled in silly sign language that sushi was my number one favorite dish. She then explained to me, through our mobile phone translator application, that she would have a sushi rolling party for me and my family soon. I was elated.

When it came time to go to their home for our next dinner party, I knew it was the "sushi rolling party" this time around. What did that mean? Was I supposed to bring my own supplies to have for us or them, or to contribute? She knew I had my own Nori, was I supposed to swap sushis with her? Our language barrier was not so much of a problem until this past Saturday when I had no idea what to do or bring?! So I figured, she knew we were Americans and clueless about this kind of event. So like true Americans, we baked an apple pie and came with some other small gifts of gratitude to present to them and that was that. I felt good about it.

It was a joy to see their family again and to be in their home for our second time. All the kids started to warm up to the other family's adults. We all seemed to be continuing the getting-to-know-each-other-journey through sincere smiles and warm laughs and the growing small bits of education we struggle to have for each other's foreign language worlds. They even presented us with a wide array of Christmas gifts, knowing this was a big American tradition coming in December, which they do not really celebrate. They gave us things like Sake wine, Japanese fall jackets for both Chad and me, flip flops custom made with our daughter Mirabelle's name carved into the shoes, one shoe with her name in English, the other with her name in Japanese, a fabulous princess dress up set they knew she would love and for her also a gorgeous traditional Japanese wooden doll. They also gave me a card with Japan's islands and cities listed in English so we could better understand where the adults were all born and what cities each of our gifts were from. These are truly heart felt and wonderful, gracious gifts. They spoiled us with their abundant kindness!

After the gift exchange, came my favorite part of the evening, the table filled with FOOD. This was not just food. It was a plethora of nourishing, fresh and flavorful local fare. I felt at ease when she began to explain (through a translating friend) how she wanted us to dig in. The hostess did not make us feel dumb, Yayuee simply knew we most likely had never been to a home dinner party of this kind and I knew she was bringing out the best for us. She told us to each take a piece of Nori (seaweed-sushi roller paper) place on it a pile of rice, a piece of beautiful fish, lettuce, tofu, hot wasabi or whatever we wanted from the spread and she showed us how she rolled it right up and dipped it in soy sauce and began to eat it, without cutting it, just like a burrito. It was just like the sushi maki rolls you would see at any sushi restaurant or grocer, without all the cutting and presentation. I loved every second of it and we could personalize all of the food we each enjoyed on our own.

There was a gigantic bowl of sticky rice for the whole table to share. We each had our own rice spoon to use for constructing our rolls.

Even their children (who are 1 and 3) ate the sushi. My daughter does not seem interested yet in the seaweed wraps but we are working on it through continually offering it to her. I love how healthy all of the Japanese children eat from day one and so then, inevitably throughout their lives.

We had fresh, raw Salmon, Shrimp, Tuna and Mackerel to choose from, as well as Squid tempura and Mackerel tempura (which is lightly fried fish). There was pickled radish salad, salmon, cucumber and octopus salad, egg salad sandwiches, tofu with a scallion sauce, local seaweed salad, miso soup, spicy fried chicken, fresh bread and macaroni salad. If you could not find something you liked to eat at this table, there is something wrong with ya. We learned that not all Japanese people eat raw fish, just like Americans. So, there was something for everyone in their group of family and friends. I dove right in. The first time we were at their home I ate like a bird, pick, pick, didn't want to seem like a big, fat, rude American coming over. This time, and after knowing them better, I went for it. I ate the fish alone (sashimi style), in rolls and wasabi-ed up my plate and learned to enjoy and have a great time eating with them. I learned many things. For one, you do not have to be super tidy when eating their food. Often in sushi restaurants in America and Japan, I sometimes feel awkward while eating a hand roll or a piece too large to fit in my mouth in one bite. So what, they say! Get messy with it. Eat with your hands, devour, enjoy, if it crumbles and piles up on your plate with the first bite, scoop it up with your next bite. They often take their plates or bowls right to their mouth and literally shovel the goods into their head. I love it. It is very relaxing and it makes it seem (to who prepared it) as though you love and adore each bite you consume. Also, I had been told (I think by an American some time in my past) that it was inappropriate to take the wasabi and mix it around in your soy sauce creating a "wasabi soup" for dipping. Well, the woman who prepared the food, the lady of the house, a born and bread Japanese and a food expert who used to own her own food store, ate her wasabi and soy sauce that very way, stirred in. So never again will I feel timid about eating in a Japanese or sushi restaurant. Now I know what to do. For dessert were lovely hot cakes (they tasted just like American breakfast pancakes) with a soy and peanut paste topping. It was simply scrumptious.

The interesting thing about our friend's home is that their kitchen table is topped off by a huge TV at the foot of the table and end of the eating room! Their traditional Japanese kitchen table is on the floor, like usual, but what shocked me was how they watch TV the whole meal. A typical Japanese person will never have anything, not one thing left to prepare after their guests arrive. It is considered rude to be doing anything away from the conversation dinner table once a guest is in their home. If they have anything left to prepare after you have gotten there, they prepare it right at the table so as to not miss any time with their guests. It is quite a nice way to be. But then they had on show a variety of Japanese cartoons, game shows and movies all throughout our meal. The night was topped off with a television presentation of the home video of the wife giving birth to their 3 year old son! My husband and I felt completely natural about watching it while at their home and then snickered to ourselves after we left in conversation; "did you think that was odd?" "That would never be done in an American home dinner party!" "Would anyone like more squid?" We got a hearty chuckle. But like I said, it did not seem odd at the time, it just provided us with some laughing later on. They keep their delivery rooms and laboring Mothers very discreet with sheets and covering in Japan, as we clearly learned! They are laid back and kind, relaxing people to be around. We adore our new friends.

We adore as well, this invaluable experience the military has provided us of learning all about the details of the differences between our American and Japanese worlds, histories and traditions. We looked through Kunyo's high school yearbooks after dessert. They did not seem too much different from our own year books. I am pretty sure every single Japanese, school age kid wears a pristine uniform no matter where they go to school. And we could not understand what the hand positions were that they all made in their school photos? We asked and they did not know how to explain it to us. It was so funny, we would never wear uniforms at the public school I attended, but we would also never make a funny hand gesture in our school pictures, either! Mother would kill me if I didn't have a perfectly proper way to document myself at this age or that school year. It is so funny how things are backwards, different and twisted between the two cultures. What is proper at home is no big deal over here and vice versa. This brings me to a point that I feel in my bones and believe to be factual: though we may seem very, very different in specific, certain ways from one culture to the next, really when it comes down to it, we are all the same and balanced. It makes the heart sing and the belly happy to be spending time in another hemisphere and with these lovely people.

Sushi For Amateurs

Like picking a beautiful center piece, you cannot always select what you want just off an inspiration, an idea you want to create, or recipe you have in your mind. You must take yourself to your local store and find what looks good that day, what is in season and what looks fresh. Below, I have a simple tutorial on how to make a healthy sushi lunch (or dinner) for you and your family.

I started with the best looking veggies from the super market and all of these can be changed up to your taste. Just simply cut your veg in long thin strips...and no one is perfect, no need to fuss, just do the best you can with each vegetable. Here I have an example of Roma tomatoes (I take the seeds out to keep it all clean and mess-free), avocados and cucumber. I find these three especially, to be essential for my favorite sushis. Some hate tomato in their sushi...I love it (it goes great with salmon)!

My favorite flavor adders for sushi are green onion or chives and cilantro, these go well with fish but sushi can be vegetarian for sure. I have even learned recently from a Korean friend you can even add cooked chicken in your rolls. This is whatever goes sushi! Just pick your favorite stuff and chop it in thin strips and have fun...oh but no need to chop the cilantro, God made it just as it needs to be for sushi :)

While you are chopping your sushi ingredients, be sure to have your brown rice cooking on the stove. I make 6 servings of brown rice for my sushi projects and the left overs are ready to go and going in tonight's taco dinner (as does any left over onions or cilantro). Add a splash of rice vinegar to your rice...no need for any other sugar sticky-ness or specially bought rice. Keep it healthy and easy.

I am a fish lover so, today I asked what was super fresh this very morning and they gave me octopus and tuna. Though, this tuna looked a bit light in color, your good raw tunas should be dark red for sushi.

If you have never bought it before, this is what the sea weed wraps look like for sushi maki rolls or hand rolls, it is called Nori and these days almost every grocery store sells them in the ethnic/Asian foods isle...even in back woods, southern Georgia Publix grocers I found it once! But if you cannot locate it, find a health food store, they usually carry it because sea weed is so, so, SO darn good for us.

This is what the sushi roller-wrapper-thingy looks like. It is just a series of wooden rods tied together with string. They sell for about a buc fitty to $2. CHEAP! Also, these can be found everywhere like your grocery stores or health food/Asian market stores. If you cannot find a roller, use a wash cloth it helps guide your roll. So, once you have the roller placed down, then add the Nori paper on top, trickle on a little bit of cold water to the nori and layer a small amount of cooked rice.

Next you just have fun. The bigger your nori paper, the more stuff you can pile! This is a vegetarian example of how to start.

This is what it looks like with some fish.

And this is what we like to have a roll look like after the roller has guided us to seal up our yummy treats. You will coat your finger with cold water (helps to work by your kitchen sink) and put a line of cold water (which serves as glue to the nori) just before you finish the roll up and the paper should seal itself pretty well like a glued up burrito. Now, not every single go at this will be perfect. But enjoy the process, we aint no trained sushi chefs!!!

(you like my star window sun ornament? Thanks, I do too.)

Make sure when you go to slice the big roll into small pieces, you have a good, sharp knife, large in size. And with this knife you rinse it totally with cold water every second cut or so...this keeps things much more tidy, trust me. Otherwise, you end up smooshing your beautiful roll and rice and stuffing goes everywhere.

Like I said, the left overs go in the fridge for my next meal of yummy tacos....here's a tip, put your left over cilantro in a small glass of water in your fridge, it makes it stay fresh for about an extra day or so. Add some soy sauce to a small dish on the side for dipping and ENJOY!!!! This is healthy and filling and this particular day took me just the length of an episode of Curious George to prepare, and my daughter and I had about 4-5 big rolls to feast on!

The Song of Kirtan

I lean in

I lean over

hunched

Head hanging low with my

Furrowed brows in weeping grief

I feel the heart swell

open and gush, coated with a river of emotion.

From the river of devotion.

I resist

this resistance is sad

and makes me feel

feel

feel every one's

pain

in the whole entire world.

While,

I am trying

to help

myself.

In my rounded back

as an old woman's

struggling to walk right,

and move forward

I search inward.

Find the Light

and make it through another

four minutes

staying healthy.

What is this pain I feel?

This war of a thousand years? within me

and in each tiny piece of air?

around me.

through me.

taking me.

I walk through this life feeling the line that curves

through the middle of the yin and yang.

It is never black or white for me.

I dance within the gray

flowing as that river,

I paint the muddy colors of existence.

Dark and light browns with

streaks of red.

Dirty orange.

Grey-blues.

In through my nose

and

an exhale is

the wind

around me.

It never gets in

all the way...

or out for that matter.

My struggle with

Staying

healthy.

And what is the goal exactly?

Shape and tone?

Clean and vital?
The perfect Light?

How long does the journey inward exist?

How long does this screen play last?

Not long

once you close up,

turn the lights off

let go,

walk out

be the spectrum.

Feel the Light

that is

you.

My Experience with the Corruption of Medical Practices in America

It is with this blog entry today that I find myself very uncomfortable, saddened and angered so I felt moved to express it. My problem is with Medicine in America and with the way medical practitioners are trained and handle their practices.

The most recent issue we have had is with my child. My daughter has had a rash that has been on her skin and changing for the past few months. The first Doctor we saw about it said it was a form of eczema. He prescribed us cortisone and told us to use it twice a day for one month. When this did not work and the rash got worse and spread to other areas of her body I felt moved to seek out medical advice again. Having since changed residences and being the military, I therefore have no choice as to what Doctor I see or where. But trusting in health care professionals, I went in with a positive attitude and felt this would be handled correctly in our new home. The doctor we saw today did not tell me her name. She did not ask me about my child's diet, stress levels, potty training or sleep habits. She did ask me about her medical history and then simply prescribed us an arsenal of drugs and creams, five to be exact, for a 2 year old with a few small dry patches of red on her scalp and back.

This was not my worst experience with an MD to date, I have had MUCH, much worse experiences in the recent past. From my pregnancy and OB disasters to hospital delivery. I will briefly share my experiences to hopefully explain and possibly help anyone who might read this to take back control of your own bodies and try to please join me on this path of not settling and not putting up with this crap any longer. The crap I speak of is lack of concern and care for the humans in America. I have a few links to support my opinions at the end of this message and feel each link is vital information, so check 'um all out if you care at all about enjoying a life feeling good and healthy both mentally and physically.

My first bad experience with a medical professional was with my first OB when I first got pregnant with my daughter. To sum it up, he rushed in and out of the examining room each time we had a scheduled visit. He told me he would expect me to be induced if I was not showing signs of labor BY MY DUE DATE and have a c-section for absolutely no reason, he simply did birthing that way, routinely. And “when” I had a c-section he would gladly give me a “free tummy tuck” by cutting away a large moon shape out of the skin of my healing pregnant belly with a cut almost stretching from one hip bone to another. At this point, with my growing discomfort with this Doctor's practice, I asked a group of women in a prenatal exercise class if they had ever heard of this Doctor, I did not feel comfortable with him and did they know of a better one in the area? The response was overwhelming. I was told by these women, some of whom were nurses, to change my OB immediately. He had a bad reputation. So right away, at 30 weeks, I joined a group with one Doctor and one mid wife. They too, confirmed his bad reputation and told me he was known as the “five o'clock c-section” Doctor in the city. This nickname meaning, he scheduled all his births with his patients so as to be home by 6pm for dinner. He induced and did c-sections about 85% of the time. I had no idea of this statistic when I had originally picked him, through a friend referring me to the practice. He needs to be sent to prison, in my opinion, for mutilating women's bodies. Why did I attract, in my life, my meeting with this Doctor to begin with?

My next bad encounter with an MD was when I was trying to get a referral to return to my regular OB (who I finally found and loved) once our medical benefits had changed. I had to jump through hoops to keep my OB who I liked, once my husband joined the military and we went with that coverage. Yes, it is free and completely gives you any care you need, at any time....but....you have no choice on the Doctor, their opinions or how you choose to care for yourself or your child. I wont go into the experience I have had with this system in this entry, but you can probably tell how I feel about it! So I decided that having to go see an assigned family practice MD to get a referral back to my regular OB Doctor, could be a good thing. I would ask for a regular physical exam from this, my assigned general practitioner, while I was going anyway for a referral. I sat down at the “office that was closest to my house” (how nice of them for picking this one for me) the day of my appointment. I had felt a struggle with what I thought might be depression for the first time in my life, I had a mole I wanted to be removed, etc. I planed on asking the Doc about all of this and to go over my general well-being with me. Once I got in her office, they asked me my concerns and to fill out some forms and questionnaires. When the doctor finally came in she asked me if I had ever thought about killing myself. I replied, no. And she said, “you are a military wife, right?” Yes. “And your husband is gone right now?” Yes. She right then that moment wrote a prescription for me for some anti-depression medication, I believe it was Lexapro. She told me it was normal for women to feel depressed when they are Army wives and their husband's are gone and she lightly ripped the paper off the tablet pad and handed me my prescription with no questions asked, as she turned to walk out. No blood work, again no questions asked. Appalled, I handed it right back to her. I told her I was not interested in medication, she should save this for her next patient. Instead of arguing with an idiot, I got up and walked out. Her office forgot to enter in my referral. So weeks went by and I had not gotten to see, or talk to anyone about the concern I had about what was going on in my body. So, my anger was this: before writing out a crazy prescription, this MD did not ask me about my diet, exercise, stress levels or relaxation practices, my sleeping habits, my past health issues, if any (other than the form I filled out about heart disease and diabetes in my family) or anything! This woman had no clue if I drank alcohol, used illegal drugs, if I WAS BREAST FEEDING, or anything. I have never been so infuriated in all of my entire life. So I decided, screw regular Docs. They can have their pathetic practices to themselves and all the other sheep patients who are herded in and out and in their offices and blindly take and consume whatever they tell them to. So I started reading, I started doing my own research and I started with diet and hormones. And I discovered that my vegetarian diet I had been going with for a few months might have been dragging me down and not providing me with the proper nutrients I may not have been adding to my food. I also discovered the fact that weaning my baby from nursing at that very time was drastically changing my hormones, which I was not told by my OB to expect because I could never get in to see and talk with her with any insurance coverage. Yes, I probably should have told the general practice Doctor that I was nursing right at the moment she handed me the prescription but I was so astonished that she didn't even ask that I felt it was not worth it. She didn't care about me, OR my baby. She cared only about how much her malpractice insurance was costing her and how she'd better hurry off to the next patient only to shut them up and write a prescription for them so they could return in a month when they needed their fix of addictive chemicals again only to earn her and the pharmaceutical companies more money and more appointments and so on and so forth.

When we have a head ache, we go straight to the Advil not ever thinking, how much water have I had today? Did I eat at a restaurant that might have given me an ingredient I am not used to? How have my exercise and activity levels been lately, enough, too much? Do I relax often enough? Dr. Oz brought up a very good point on TV recently, we cannot deal with any pain in this society. We are prescribed away all the time, when pain is a gift, it is our body's way of telling us something is happening here in your system and something might be wrong. But also, pain is not always WRONG! Women go through labor pains and there is nothing wrong there! In fact it is so right! A baby is coming and your body is telling you that! I think the medical field in America has totally screwed us as humans completely. We have no idea how to read our bodies any more! We have no faith in our own bodies to work the right way, on their own. We have no instincts left to listen to. We have been drugged, pushed and rushed around for so long by the average Medical practitioner that we don't even know how to listen to our own bodies anymore at all. We have NO WELLNESS PROVIDERS, so where are they? I am not normally the type of person who gets on a soap box and preaches, but this is totally ridiculous. Where is our nutrition insurance? Insurance to see personal trainers and dietitians, massage therapists? We have to wake up people! With this subject I am up in arms, I am infuriated. And this intense anger has started because now in my life, it is not just MY body that is being abused, it is my daughter's too.

When we left my daughter's new, fabulous Doctor today, I did not know the practitioner's name. SHE did not know ANYTHING about my daughter before giving her all this chemical junk. She did not ask if we had just been through a stressful international move, if we were potty training, etc. I know what she needs. And it is not this. I could have offered my opinion but again, she was in too big of a hurry to listen to my thoughts on the subject or to ask me about MY questions. And so I am left feeling like most of the time, I have to diagnose my daughter on my own and this scares me, I am not a professional. But I do not trust any of the professionals we have ever been assigned, either. For now, my gut will guide me and this will have to do.

My daughter has been through tons of tests, ultrasounds, IVs, medications, and all of it has done nothing for her and all her tests come out negative when they think something is wrong with her. I know we need to rule things out and make sure it is not the worst in each situation, but come on people. From now on, I am going totally holistic, gluten free, milk free and I see an improvement in her body already from some past problems. I also used to give her a health drink, my pride and joy, Body Balance from my favorite health company Life Force International, which is a combo of aloe juice and a series of all existing sea vegetations packed with nutrients. I am quite sure once I get that product over here again, in Japan, her skin will heal and any other various problems will improve.

I think we attract everything in our lives for a reason. Sometimes, we attract “bad” things to teach us something we are not seeing about ourselves. Sometimes, we attract “bad” things in our lives to be teachers and lead others to see something they may not be seeing. I would hope this article helps someone out before something bad happens with excessive prescription drugs or a misdiagnosis. There are not enough Docs out there like Dr. Oz. The money involved with the health care and pharmaceutical industry are totally corrupt and not at all looking out for our BEST interests. I am not saying we do not need hospitals or medication for those with serious illnesses. I am speaking to the average, healthy human BEFORE things have gone drastically wrong. Lets spend more money and time on prevention and our well being than on our health insurance or nasty, heartless, surgically and medicinally trained Doctors. Lets turn our faith and attention to the wellness industry not the sickness industry and to the intuition of our own minds. This is my main reason for expressing my thoughts, this day.

http://www.thebusinessofbeingborn.com/

http://droz.com/

http://www.lifeforce.net/products.php

http://www.yogajournal.com/

I Got Nuthin'

I guess it is because we are still getting settled and unpacking.....So I have had no inspiration these days....so here is a brain drain of me and my life in Okinawa lately...we are all a little...."whatever" right now. Still glowing with joy though.

Halloween in foreign country
2 year old blues
marriage
love
beach
cold water even though the sun is out, but not too cold
rainy season
Skype around the world
foreigners have all the same problems as Americans just in different ways.....
so people are all the same around the world, the issues might vary, but we all have them
so we really are One
shiatsu and Thai massage by 5 foot Japanese girl with dreads
Reiki and Dr. Usui
travel
family
friends, old and new: on the mind
unpacking........................STILL
her favorite princess is Sleeping Beauty...yet she never sleeps
on Marriage...lighten up and support each other's happiness and things that make one another happy, even if it is not what makes YOU personally happy
Japanese don't want us here in such numbers
believing in miracles
zip lining
shopping
Christmas cards
Christmas gifts
mail both Mom's birthday presents
sand in butt cracks
nice to meet people on the beach
Military planes fly by all day, but just noticed them after 2 months?
Weight loss, squats at gym...many, many squats
pain
sweat
rain
sick of cleaning up these blocks
wish I could have lunch with all my Facebook friends, not just comment on their pictures and statements
took 2 days or more to clean up after dinner party
-very worth it though.
Deep breathing
putting spine back into place through laughter and letting go
MORE festivals please
Bangkok, here we come?
planning trips
planning babies
feeling roots and cowboy boots
success
success
success
remembering that those you admire mirror the qualities in yourself.

Love Makes The World Go Round

I am honored to be amongst such a kind, happy, goofy, loving, funny, giving and peaceful culture. The Okinawans are polite. They are quiet, calm. They are extremely generous. But most of all they are peaceful.

Everywhere I go, I see them making a peace sign with their hands. For pictures, just saying hello to one another or to those who they know don't speak their language....a peace sign. It is universal and says so much.

I was unsure how they felt about our massive presence on this island and around the world, as a military wife. They seem to love us and just want to spread their love and peace.

I love Okinawa.

We met a Japanese/Okinawan family at a festival one lovely evening recently. Our children smiled at one another and the father of the family of 6 keeled down, let our children communicate in their toddler way and he proceeded to speak with us, as best he could in broken English for about 30 minutes. We were complete strangers! We were foreigners at one of their festivals. And they welcomed us into their conversation, lives and later, their homes. I have never met a nicer man and family.

The husband's exchanged phone numbers that night. He expressed to us he wanted to learn fluent English. We expressed the same about wanting to learn Japanese. About 3 or 4 days after the festival, we received a call from the Okinawan father/husband/super nice guy and he invited us to his house for a "house party." We knew that he probably did not mean house party as in, kegger-frat boys-hundreds of people packed into a house-party like we referred to it. And it was most certainly not that.

About 2 weeks after meeting our first Japanese friends, we found ourselves driving to their home, removing our shoes at their front door and walking in on the already fully prepared, most beautiful spread of foods in front of us.

Their dining table sat about two feet off of the floor. The plate wear was all in earthy tones. A set of chop sticks and a soy sauce dish were placed lovingly by each setting. We enjoyed eggplant seaweed rolls, raw soba noodle rolls, mashed pumpkin salad, white and black rice cakes with jasmine and seaweed, seafood salad with sea grapes on top and a soy-vinegar dressing, a seafood omelet with mayonnaise and tea, Okinawan beer and Okinawan Sake. It was quite the spread. I wish I could go back and eat it all over again and again.

The wife cooked the hot food on a hot grill right at the table. It is customary to do this with guests in Japan so as to not miss one moment of visiting with them, no trips to the kitchen for serving the food. They gave my daughter plastic silver wear and fully expected her to eat what their children ate, which was what the adults ate, at that very table. To my embarrassment, she opted not to eat any of it. So they lovingly gave her lolly pops and popsicles, lucky baby.

Our children played, we tried to speak to one another as best we could. They had a few other friends and family stop by and we continually got a thank you from the man of the house. He kept saying how happy he was that we came to join them and were learning to communicate together with him.

I have never felt such love from a stranger in a strange land. We plan to have them over to our home for dinner as well and I continue to admire and feel grateful to be around the way of the Okinawans.