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Me.....being grateful for every thing, every breath, every day of this life

Friday, June 4, 2010

Shouting From the Highest Mountain I Have (my blog), I Love My Husband!

Just after our second anniversary, I feel better than ever about marriage. I think, in this day and age, we need a slightly new, or revised if you will, definition of what marriage is.

Can any two people be placed in the exact same point on the line of human evolution?

Can any two people be placed in the exact same point in their own, personal evolutions?

Can any two people be perfect partners, almost as one body and mind, with the same exact goals, being productive team members to society?

I really think not. I say "no" to all three of the questions above. It is impossible. There is no possible way 2 creatures can have the same, exact karmic journey at the same exact time, or purpose on this earth, in my opinion. So what does a good couple make? That question fumbled my groove in the past and along my path more than once! I think there always is a masculine energy and feminine influence within each person, each couple, each decision, each agreement and within each thought we have. And in the couple realm, is the balance always going to be there? For some, yes. For others, not so much, sometimes, or hardly ever.

What brings us, as romantic couples, together? What makes us LAST? What gives us the spark to keep trying and trying throughout generations? What gives people the motivation to continually be grateful for their partner and to treat them fairly at least, if not completely like a treasure?

I am not sure what it might be for others and I am quite sure it is different for everyone. But I will tell you what it is with me and my feelings for my husband;

A gut instinct that keeps me fighting for him and supporting him and our union. Nothing more, nothing less. There is a huge GUT instinctual feeling that I feel always present that says: "I am supposed to support him, help him, love him, laugh with him, talk to him and be near him for always." There is no other reason.

Against all odds we found one another. Against all odds we stayed together! And there are no words to explain that little piece of gut instinct intuition that keeps me trying, trying, trying and never (fully) giving up.

I will be honest, when times got hard, I have worked on this marriage because of our daughter alone, forget me or him!!! Even though I know children are NOT a good soul reason to stay together. And even when I have considered leaving through hardships, regardless of my daughter's amazing love for her Daddy, I have always stayed and pushed on to try for "forever," for "us."

Right now, no matter what happens with arguments or disagreements on BIG issues like jobs, location, future, money, babies...oh all the good stuff, I know now for sure; I would never leave this man. I would never hurt this man. I would never cheat this man. I would never manipulate this man. I would never lie to this man. I would never walk away from this man. I would never speak poorly about this man. I would never abandon this man. I would never harm this man. I would never insult this man. I would never leave this man. There is something bigger than me that keeps me with him, more than vows. There is something smarter than me that makes me try for him. There is something stronger than me that makes me work hard for him. There is something tougher than me that makes me know like I know like I know, he is my partner and I will be by his side and we will be great together, fight for one another and for ourselves and for peace in this world.

He is US soldier. The security he has provided his family is enormous. The security he has provided his country is selfless, brave and overflowing with honor. I have only recently completely absorbed what it means to be a military wife. It came as a slow learning curve to know what it means to be an officer's wife. I do not like to be told what to do and how to feel, I like to learn it for myself in my own way. And I now wear that label proud, "officer's wife." No, he is not in Afghanistan, not actively fighting in a war currently. But he is doing a job that most could not. He wakes before 95% of the people in the world wake. He is never "off duty." He follows every rule to the perfect point. He is solid. He is punctual. He is a phenomenal father. He is serious. He is intelligent. He is artistic. He is funny. He is my man.

We find our balance between the most opposite nature of us, this Yogini and military man duo. I look forward to many more years of learning and building together.

I love you, babe.

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