Fear and Honesty in Augusta

My two babies, Mirabelle and Raja

This night I am sitting in my foreign home in this town I never had any desire to move to. I am just being honest here today. I am not well. I am scared. I got a bad virus or infection this past weekend. I got really sick. I always believe we get sick for a reason. Our wellness or dis-ease is all because of our thoughts and actions. It is simply what I believe.

I have been off track. I am growing weary of our HUGE move coming up. I am finding myself emotionally overwhelmed about it. Moving is one of the top 5 stressors of our entire existence. As an Army wife I am made to have to move all the time. I am not at peace with this yet. I am scared and stressed out. That is why I believe I got sick.

We recently found out that we cannot bring our dog with us to my husband's first duty station of Okinawa. She and I have been together for over 10 years. I have no one, as of right now, who I know who can take her for me. This is causing me much sadness and strain.

But I have to believe in every experience is a lesson. That everything works out for the highest good for all involved, always. Even for my dear Raja. Things look bleak right now. This is stressing my body, my marriage and I am quite sure the child and dog feel this sticky, dark energy also.

Thank you blogger for being my outlet. It is my place to say.....I know everything happens just as it should. It is my place to write and publish....that I know what we are experiencing and going through is the very best thing we all could be feeling and learning right now. Thank you words for being wings to my illness, flying away from this body in keyboard clicking.

Thank you to the devine. I believe in divinity, that it is everywhere. Our tough times are opportunities to remember the good. How could we ever know good if bad didn't exist? How could there be brilliant light without any shadow cast? There would be no yin to the yang. The Universe would not have a balance. Perhaps we are here to find out why this precious balance must exist.

To everyone out there ever struggling with anything, I pray for you tonight.

Love,

Becca

Army Wives Unite!!!!

Hey Y'all!
I am so excited!!! I am dedicating today's entire blog entry to Army wives!!!!!!! I am just breaking into the cyber-world trying to reach out to as many people as possible. Since we discovered we are moving to the island of Okinawa, Japan, I guess I have felt a little foreshadowing of isolation. I would like to stay in touch with as many family members, friends and loved ones as I possibly can through my little laptop for this reason. I am excited to report that through the internet I have found a lot of Army wife web sites to join and groups to be a part of. Please come back and refer to this blog and look for listings of awesome Mom/Military wife web sites and groups.

I never wanted to leave my (second) home of Savannah, GA. I was born and raised in Cincinnati, Ohio and moved to Savannah for college and NEVER LEFT for almost 12 years. I did travel around for work and relationships but always ended up back in my home of good old Geeee-orgia. Anyone who knows me knows I beat this subject to death. But when I was about 26 I decided I would spend the rest of my life setting down roots there and I love, love, loved the idea of that. I really hate moving and I love painting walls in my home and making my space my sanctuary. I love involving myself in a community and knowing people and locals.

Then.........

I fell in love with an Army guy. Yup.

All these things I love......have to now be thrown out the window and burned in the street. No more roots. No more wall paint. No more Savannah. BUT..........hello Okinawa!!!!! I am so excited about our move to Japan!!! And it has spawned this blog, my Facebook and Twitter memberships and has connected me with so many people, old friends from Ohio and everything!!!!

But my main goal is to reach out and connect with as many Army wives as possible! So follow me, contact me, chat with me! There is strength in numbers ladies and I fully intend on being strong. I want ideas and love and I share ideas and love. It has been hard for me and my baby to be alone a lot, but also hard for my husband to be away from us and working so hard his entire last year of training.

My goals are the same, community, love, roots. Now I just have to find them in a global way, and how cool is that!!!???

I guess I will just keep painting my wood furniture instead of my walls, so as to keep things fun.


LOVE TO YOU ALL OUT THERE!!!!! Stay strong! You are not alone.
Becca
Find me on Facebook under: Rebecca Sweeney Krokoski, Augusta, GA

Follow my travels ye loved ones

I used to be on the Savannah College of Art and Design's Crew/Rowing team. We traveled every single weekend (almost) During the Fall and the Spring. I loved it. We hopped in the bus, drove all over the eastern US and rowed and sweat and ate rather poorly and communed with nature in the most beautiful way: on the water.


So I love to travel. I love to travel even if it is not as sexy as the travel channel beaches, snobby resorts or living like Anthony Bourdain (who happens to be my favorite in every way). http://anthony-bourdain-blog.travelchannel.com/ Travel gets you out there amongst the people....I am talking to you, you couch potatoes and stay-at-home-Moms. It is easy to be inside a lot. Even in your hometown where you might work, get out and be "involved." You never really meet new people until you get yourself out of your comfort zone for five minutes and hit the ever lovin' road. She is my best classroom, where I learn the most.


I just recently went to my favorite place of all time thus far for Becca's life....Savannah, GA and Tybee Island. It was the husband's and my anniversary. It was also the weekend of a lovely baby shower of an old friend in the Landings. I had never been to the Landings. It was lovely! I expected it to be a community of cold, over priced, obnoxious in size and new looking houses amongst a golf terrain. It was the opposite. The homes were all different and slightly aged. I loved it. The views were amazing and so were the cake and hors d'oeuvres. I learned my lesson yet again: DO NOT JUDGE, especially before you see something.


We had a lovely dinner out for our anniversary in downtown Savannah and we saw a slew of good, very good, old friends from home. It does not feel like it has already been a year of marriage. I thought that was a good thing, then I remembered that we have actually spent over half of it apart. Thank you Uncle Sam.


I definitely burnt the candle at both ends. Chad and I finally realize that we do not have what it takes to hit the town and wake up with the baby at 7:30 am. And we like it this way. But I had to embrace the Jimmy Buffet vibe while on Tybee Island and I loved it. I did this also knowing my Tybee days and visits are numbered before we head over to a new ocean place, Okinawa. So I said the beginnings of my goodbyes to old Tybee Island.

Then my last day in Slowvannah was reserved for visit time with one of my very best friend's: Jessica Hedrick. What a lovely lady. We dined for a lunch with fellow/former Yoga instructor of mine (and also good friend), Christine. She is married to a Vietnamese man, he is equally a lovely person, full of sunshine. So we chose an amazing location to feast called Saigon Flavors Restaurant. This, my friends, is what you set roots down in a city for. I never knew this place existed and it took this long for me to have a good suggestion of an obscure place with incredible food. We had a truly authentic experience and the food was lovingly prepared, healthy and inspiring. We started with steamed garden wraps with shrimp as well as sticky rice wrapped in lotus leaves. And that is just how we started! The meals were all spiritual in front of us as we got served our main courses and the Jasmine tea finished off the flavors. Thank you Christine for such an excellent guide through culture and food! This meal gave birth to some amazing conversation and valuable knowledge passed between respected friends, no, sisters, more like. Though our loud laughter at the bars with old chums was enough to keep one's soul smiling for some time, this meal and conversation I'd had will embrace me for years, I am quite sure.

Saigon Flavors Restaurant Siagon Inc - 6604 Waters Ave, Savannah - (912) 352-4182

So now I am home and back to my old routines in a quiet apartment with the 1.5 year old, where I know not a soul. And even though I dearly miss my Savannah city by the marshes, I am glad to be home in Augusta. The sun happens to be brighter here (for the first time ever, I am sure)! I left cold rain down there in the low country! Odd, but I was quite ready to be home again. And so I made my semi-regular breakfast of eggs over easy, low carb toast and half caf coffee from the french press, as the baby played on Sesame Street. And I felt better than I had felt all weekend.



Agian, thank you Savannah for once more bringing a circus of newness to my vision. Thank you good friends and fun times. Thank you Saigon Flavors and new food! I learned about reminders in judgement, my limits, surprising weather patterns and finding love with wherever you live, quite unexpectedly.





Namaste y'all

Missing Savannah

Savannah, Georgia is my favorite place on earth that I have ever been, thus far. Its mystery and beauty intrigues me to no end. There is dark mystery, sadness, gorgeous waterways and marshes, the energy is thick.

I lived in Savannah on and off, mostly on, from 1997-2008. The times I lived and played in Savannah were the best times of my life. After graduating from the Savannah College of Art and Design in 2001 I felt the need to live near family in New England. New England. Well me and New England traffic and weather don't mix! So I went back to sweet Georgia and flopped around until I found work with my connections in Savannah again. Not too long after, I was offered a job in Utah at a Yoga retreat center in 2004. I left good old stink town again and took the job and the company crumbled. After Utah kidnapped me, I scraped and pulled my way back to Savannah eventually again. I had a great offer to work for my friend Joel's gourmet cafe in historic City Market right in downtown Savannah. I ran back with a swiftness and had so much fun working for him and finding love in my home again. It was like putting on a well broken in pair of leather sandals. Comfy. I knew this was where I would spend the rest of my days and this feeling was great.

Then I fell in love with an Army guy. His job has taken me away, once again from my home. But I believe our subconsciousness guides our lives. So I know I have "chosen" this path. But I will carry Savannah with me, every day until I return once more. It is my happy place. I find so much creativity there and a thriving economy. It is filled with growth and people eager to be progressive, but not too quickly! A slow, easy lifestyle where newness will come along with conservative mindsets around the deep history. It is a beautiful place with the best community and wonderful friends and warmness.

I pay homage to the friendly town. Thank you Savannah, for cradling me and caring for me in my journey toward adulthood! I miss my drive over the Wilmington River. I love my Tybee meditations. To remember, I throw a mental party about my memories of exciting nights on the town filled with laughter and cool wind through steamy dark evenings. I miss seeing the transition of almost NO Yoga around to seeing three studios thrive there! I loved my job at good old Daniel Lumber because of the PEOPLE and the deep Savannah heritage. I will take you with me everywhere I go, Savannah!

Until we meet again.....

To be continued,

Lovingly,

Bec

www.savannahareayoga.com

www.savannahyoga.com

www.thesavannahyogaroom.com

www.ashramsavannah.com

Mind-Body Military

HEALTH, WELLNESS AND MILITARY SANITY

The difference between most civilian families and military families is the roller coaster of emotions. This is what my humble opinion is, having been a military wife for only just about a year so far. Most American families have their schedules, steady homes, their jobs and their lives set and stable. They know what to expect and they know where they are going, for the most part. By the time the majority of us find ourselves to be parents, we have a pretty clear idea of how we will put food on the table and what goals we have for the future. So, stability. The kids need to be taken care of, no way around it! So we make a plan. And we raise the kids, enjoy our off days and weekends and vacations and live our expected lives. I know, because we had a baby and a family before we had the military and the US Army in our lives, in this household.

When my daughter was 8 months old my husband left for basic training and OCS. He was gone for 6 months. Just shy of 29, he decided to join the US Army and be an officer. I, being just shy of 30 cannot believe I have found myself to be a military wife. I had the hurdle of not wanting the lifestyle, not wanting at all to be in a military life, hating the alone times and being a pseudo single parent. I bitched and pissed and moaned. I certainly have cried. I have felt lonely over a beautiful meal I prepared for no one but myself. Even the baby is in bed, not that a 1 year old would care anyway about the mingling flavors of the ginger, tomato, pepper and soy I'd achieved with tonight's stir fry sauce. But it is just me. The endless tasks of taking the trash out, with the dog leash in one hand (so as to make fewer trips with the baby on a hip) and struggling to balance the squirming child and the mail in the other hand, and the like.

Alas, there are also moments of bliss in the lonely times. I get to have a perfectly clean house, just as I would have it. Never having to nag about last night's beer cans or picking up those stinky, misplaced, socks gets the mind a nice, cool break. My home is MY home. No one else's. It is cause for a celebration! I never have to discuss my plans, bills or money with anyone! I can't actually, because my husband and I were not allowed communication for some months. I live my life as a single girl and make my choices and love my free time and independance!

But then living in a town where you haven't chosen to live....not knowing anyone around you....feeling very stuck with NEVER having a babysitter...not yet registered at the Army base childcare service.....doctor appointments with a screaming child.....NEVER having a break to save your sanity and decompress....enldess packing and unpacking of boxes.....never getting to paint your home.....losing your cool and yelling back at a temper tantrum-ing near 2 year old......it is no way to live.

But wait....then there is only two more weeks until my husband returns home. There is a light at the end of this tunnel. He is heading across the country, my best friend, eagerly from his training to come see us! To kiss his wife, to have his TV back, to hug his baby, to have me take care of him as he has taken care of us and his country all this time. The joy of the suspense builds after all this time away. He returns! You remember why you fell in love! The rollercoaster thrill is exciting in this turn around the bend! You share big belly laughs again! Meals, walks, hugs, snuggles, a glass of wine, a dinner out, a trip to the grocery store, a brushing of teeth....together. All of these silly, little, mundane, things that the average American couple or family takes for granted, have now become our carnival! Our eagerly awaited boring, activities are cause for a Marti Gras-type celebration! We are so excited to be together again.

I currently feel happier than I have ever felt in my entire life. My husband was only gone for two months this time and I consider myself a lucky one. And I don't even care that I am not living at the beach. My husband, daughter and I have plans. We are going on exciting travels to Japan and who knows where else in the coming months! We are all together for the time being! And I have learned to remember these times and carry them with me in the inevitable hard times to come. Maybe those hard times wont be such a scary creep of the roller coaster ride. Maybe they will be more smooth as time goes by? Like the kiddie ride at the park.

So while the civilian family does not have as many ups and downs as the military family does, they may not have as much happiness and bliss as often, either. So I am not wishing for my life to be any different. We make a very good living, we do what ever we want, I get to stay home with my child, not work for a short time. I get to consider going and taking some more college classes with a military discount. I have a huge support at each Army base we live on or near. I have found the beauty in the military. I give thanks to all the soldiers who give their lives and their time, especially to my husband. He gets up every morning around 4am and goes to do his thing. We support each other and it feels amazing.

Even as I fought this whole idea, I knew there was a valuable lesson for me in all of this. It is finding the wellness and balance in your mind even the hardest of times, then that trickles down into the wellness of your body. I often think about holocaust survivors, slavery and those who have lost loved ones in war or to disease, whenever I am struggling. Even those people in the past have found the Light to look to, the faith to keep. Who am I to complain about anything? I always believed that the Light is there, ever present, helping us find our way through this mystical and beautiful life.

Bring wellness to your family, your mind and your spirit by not trying so hard to fight or win. Love and ease will find its way into your life if you stop, lay back, try to be peaceful and let go a little bit. Trying hard even at happiness blocks the way for anything good to come in. Let go! Breathe. Conform. And in comes the drenching waters of love, peace and beauty.

Army wife, out
Love ;)
Bec

The Joy of Cooking

So I am blogging today simply asking for good, healthy recipes. I eat low-carb. Husband and baby eat high-carb. So if we all eat together it is usually heart healthy, light, like fish, whole grain cous cous and green beans, etc. as an example. So I would love some great marinade ideas.....salad dressings.....appetizers......and wine suggestions. THANKS!!!!

My favorite painting of all time is currently all over my Twitter and Facebook page so I am including it here as well. It is the Joy of Life by Henri Matisse, my favorite painter. This painting embodies all the wonderful reasons to be alive in this humanity and in this body. And I am so happy to have my husband back and family all together every day, I feeeel like this painting right now!!!! Yay for life!

Love Bec,

as I always say: Enjoy Life!!!

Ducky Friends and Many Miles

Haven't Blogggged for a long time y'all!

Been traveling (big peaceful grin).

Please leave me thoughts when you visit the blog. Much appreciated!

So I found and saw friends from Cincinnati, Ohio who I haven't see in oh, about 15 plus years!!! Thank you Facebook!!! I planned a last minute trip to Cincinnati and then to Pittsburgh, PA. When I arrived in PA I was blessed to have a reunion with my bestest college friends!! They poured in from all over the country to visit with me and our friend Jen Beam, the PA native. I stayed for about a week with my parents in their country-side home. What a lovely trip. Thank you everyone for the lovely company! My gratitude flows over.

Then! On my way home I stopped in Asheville, NC. Not only do I love this town, but one of my great friends lives there as well. Sarah :) and I got to meet her beautiful baby. We went to the park on Wednesday there, as well as the lovely downtown. We saw these special ducks at the park. And I will use them to sum up the feeling of my entire trip. These ducks walked right on up to us. My daughter wanted to touch them, but Sarah and I were bothy afraid to let them get too close!!! Didn't want any evil duck attacks!! We just didn't want to scare the poor things into an attack and we thought they might get pissy once they found out we had no food :) But they came right up to us. It was sweet! I felt so overwhelmed and confronted whole hearted with LOVE and closeness the entire 2 week trip...these ducks, the day I went home summed it all up. They came RIGHT up to be and showed the beauty of their feathers and soul. This is what I got lucky enough to experience from family and beautiful friends the entire time.

Thank you Cincinnati, thank you friends who put up me, my baby and my dog! Thank you family for the support and help, thank you duckies of all colors and different kinds, who came right up to me. Thank you blue mountain ranges and clean, fresh air. And thank you God for our safe and healthy travels!!!!!