Orchids, Calm, Quiet and Goats

We are always lost in translation here. But there was no need for translation at the park we visited last weekend.

The biggest florist in Okinawa, Bios Floral Park On The Hill was amazing. We took a peaceful boat ride and saw the native fruits and flowers growing naturally in the swampy waters. We walked through a day that was flirting with rain in a lush tropical Orchid fantasy land.

As we searched the ground of this park we came upon adult and baby goats, pigs and water buffalo. You could feed and take the animals for a walk! We found an open field where there were handmade kites for rent and stilts to try out your balance on. We enjoyed watching our daughter feeding the baby goats. We especially savored and enjoyed eating the soba noodle soup at the end of it all.

The experience brought peace to my family for the rest of the weekend and reminded us of how lucky we are to be in such a magical location of Asia. To see a tropical, vibrant flower of such beauty and perfection makes me think of the majesty and mystery of this life that we need only trust and how lucky I am to have my gorgeous flower of a daughter and amazing husband, Chad to be with us.

Pray Hard Or Go Roam

Prayer. It is not a simple word. When defined by Webster it is suggested and summed up that the only meaning is "to plea to a deity, an entreaty, humble request"!? I have to disagree! In my personal opinion and practice, I do not think it is appropriate to pray in the sense of wanting, weather you are religious or not. To squeeze your eyes closed and give a silent beg, I think this is slightly ridiculous and only shows you the empty, desperate feeling of being sad about being without. Sure it is fine to want things and to aspire to have something or someone in your life which you currently do not acquire. Goals are what keep us going! But I suggest to Mr. Webster and to anyone who does not have a regular practice of prayer, to create one and to make it a much more peaceful part of your life.

I know my husband prays almost every single night. I think his prayers, from what he has told me, are more like a giving of thanks, a time for quiet gratitude. I think that is essential to any one's happiness. It is so important to have gratitude for what you have that makes you happy and it also helps us have a direction for what goodness we want to expand and build upon in our lives. Gratitude fills our hearts, minds and bodies with pure paradise.

When flipping through the dictionary to search for my word prayer, I passed a page which held the description explaining the meaning of the word; paradise. (The pages which directed me through the "p" words, had the alphabetical guides at the top of the "paradise" page, listing "panties" to the left and "paradise" to the right and I thought that was hilarious, wanted to share!) Webster defines the meaning of the word paradise as; "a garden, heaven and any place or state of great happiness."

I thought it fitting that the word paradise caught my attention when researching the prayer word. I find it important to define this word as what it means to me. I see prayer as a meditation, a moment of intention for deep peace and will to promote and create even more peace. When I pray I almost always figure out what I am thankful for in general and this is involving me as well as then including the rest of the world. I wrap humanity in love with almost every moment of prayer I practice. I find I feel lost if I have not prayed in a while. I feel like I am wandering and roaming through life with no purpose and this creates depression. When I pray, sometimes I close my eyes and sometimes I do not. Sometimes I am in my car driving. Sometimes I am watching a movie with my child. Sometimes it is in the shower as I wash my hair. Sometimes I set a time to be alone, like in a strictly scheduled meditation practice. Sometimes it is just as I am drifting off to sleep. In my prayers, I often send my love and peace through the atmosphere to who I think might be in need. Often I just send love through the valley of my mind intending this thought to abstractly reach a friend, group or family who might be struggling, often I think of the citizens of a country who are conflicted where there is war, hunger, disease and giant need. But instead of asking or requesting in a way of "please give relief!" Rather, I state or gently demand, "give peace where there is none." Or, "bring love and safety to those who are lonely or scared." And, "allow nourishment and wellness to find those who cannot seem to discover comfort and health." I am not asking God to do this. I am sending an intention that it will simply occur and be so. Strong and repetitive thoughts become reality, I believe, in one way or another.

If you feel at the end of your rope, feel like there is nothing to be grateful for, or feel hopeless in any way, then simply have gratitude for the breath in your body, the beat of your heart. Life is our privileged gift and we need to understand that we may not always GET why we are here and have been presented this offering. But our being here is no accident, in my opinion. We all have a place. We effect things that we do not even realize, sometimes. Just like in this recent season's classic movie 'Its a Wonderful Life,' the main character has no earthly idea of all the lives he has touched and how drastically different the world would be, had he never existed. This could possibly be one of the most important movies of all time, I say! It leads us to have faith and trust in the unknown. It is imperative to trust in the mystery, that there is a place and purpose for YOU.

Relaxation is key to everything. The older I get, the more I find the importance of relaxation. Living consciously and relaxing consciously is the only way to achieve success. Success in any activity you might do from school to work to parenting. Active, intentional relaxation (nice oxymoron there!) is the balance to any effort you put toward anything you DO or involve yourself in. We cannot even enjoy our "off" time if we are not feeling good. And there are so many stressors and distractions in our busy environment today. The best balance for this fast paced, hectic, bill boarded, money hungry, traffic jam society is meditation.

Quiet. Shut down. Stop moving. Feel your simple and involuntary rhythms with breath. Gratitude. Peace. Expanding your relaxation. Stillness in the mind, eyes, body and face. Sitting in the middle of a feeling of love for the world, self and others, for just whatever IS. Enriching tranquility. Promoting rejuvenation and regeneration. Letting awareness and softness come to each and every, single cell in your body. Letting go of the tight grip of wanting control. This is my way of praying. I feel with this very regular practice, I am led on a clear path through life and I can then go forth and contribute only good things to the world all while enjoying my existence. Otherwise we roam, go in sad circles, feel lost, get trapped in multiple dead ends like a dreary maze. So, pray hard, or go roam.

Love from the start and a wink from the heart,

Rebecca

Conclusion to earlier Medical Practices Blog

I have learned a great deal since posting my controversial blog on what I felt was (as titled) "The Corruption of Medical Practices in America." I got many responses from this entry, all welcomed with open arms. I heard anger from those who are in the medical fields. I heard confusion from those who have never had any problems with their own medical care. I heard celebration from several who feel exactly the way I do and know a change needs to be made.

With this new entry I am suggesting that the change need not be made within the medical field. The change needs to be made with all of the patients.

While writing my first entry on medicine, although passionate about the subject, I did feel like somewhat of a ranting protester. My personal belief has always been that protesting is a waste of energy in any arena and that it promotes more anger and corruption. My favorite quote of Mother Theresa:

"I was once asked why I don't participate in anti-war demonstrations. I said that I will never do that, but as soon as you have a pro-peace rally, I'll be there."

-Mother Theresa (1910-1997)

And even while writing within my deep beliefs and agony over medicine in America, I did feel a bit of a struggle with writing it all out publicly. I do stay away from negativity as much as possible and complaining about anything makes me feel out of place. This has stuck with me and I have seemed to be given a resolution to close up this problem of ours and within me.

After sitting through a very long meeting just tonight covering the medical practices of the military I find myself in, it all came together for me. The Doctors trained in America, very much on the whole just do what they are told. They are sheep for several reasons. For insurance, for educational purposes, for safety. I cannot imagine how scary it must be to have the lives of hundreds if not thousands of people in your hands. So they must do what they must do. I will not propose to understand why.

As a human who cares about my body and my child's body, I have decided to become our own primary Doctors. Even this night, what I thought to be true was given straight to me as fact. When asked by the crowd how to deal with long wait times in medical clinics, being put on hold with serious questions on the phone, not getting appointments as soon as they wanted, etc., a very senior Doctor who is in management of our medical world here on Okinawa, went through a long list of reasons why these things occur. And after a rather long and dreary speech about how Docs offices operate and why, he asked for a show of hands if anyone had a self help medical book in their home. I of course raised my hand and saw hardly any others raise theirs. He said it was the first step anyone should take before running to a Doctor's office or the dreaded time vacuum I refer to as the ER. He said the right books should be taken camping and searched on YOUR OWN before consulting any MD. I wanted to stand up and clap for him. He was so right. I immediately knew I had become one of the patient sheep. I have been herded in and out of whatever string of offices of the Dr's of my past have sent me to and I have gone in to any medical place with no education and no questions prepared, on the whole. I had the typical "whatever you say Doc!" -attitude.

What I have been thinking lately is that we need to be more forceful. We need to have detailed lists of questions prepared and in writing, so when we go in to be seen and get rushed and pushed around, we do not get confused and leave feeling awkward and empty. We need to research ourselves more. We need to KNOW for sure what is right for us. And we need to push back. In a peaceful way, we need to demand our opinions and kindly tell each practitioner we see that we expect and deserve the care that we are comfortable with and nothing less. WHO CARES WHAT THE REACTION MIGHT BE? This is your one and only body people.

My Mother-in-law who is a nurse taught me to remember that Doctors are HIRED BY US and working FOR US and people so often forget that. We feel the Drs can just say and do whatever they think!? It may be annoying to shop around for a good Doc that fits. It might be tiring doing your own research. But we need to be our best guides. We need our gut instincts and personal opinions to be the first and final choice in our minds for our bodies. And if you are like me and do not get to pick your own Dr, then preparation and paperwork under your arm is the best way to go with each guessing game of a visit.

So the problem lies within the patient. I think we all need to voice our knowledge more. We all need to be better prepared. We all need to be honorable patients, in honor of ourselves. Then maybe, who knows, the DRs out there who are NOT honorable, will learn to follow suit.

"Peace cannot be achieved through violence, it can only be attained through understanding.'

-- Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)

Recipe for Relaxing

Sometimes anxiety comes. It comes to all of us at different times, for different reasons and in different ways. Anxiety brings on complicated emotions. We feel trapped. We sometimes with this anxiety can feel unable to get out of a sticky web that covers and suffocates our mouth and clouds our eyes. It can feel as though we are drowning in a large body of endless water, not knowing where to come up for air.

In my life time I have worried much about what others are thinking when they think of me. I have cared far too much for people's approval, from second grade on. Did I say something that came off as rude or was perceived incorrectly? Did I unknowingly do something that could explode into a war between people when I had no intention of even being noticed? How did my expression lines in my face appear just then, confused or angry? Often while growing up and through school, I had people tell me, "I thought you were a snob" or "I thought you hated me!" When none of these many things and reactions I heard from others were ever how I really intended on acting, or feeling. Their impressions were wrong! I always felt slightly sad, pretty isolated and alone while growing up. My childhood at first glance, seems to me to be dark, quiet, with few friends, feeling awkward, sticking out oddly and never getting to feel like that last puzzle piece, making a complete picture, fitting in perfectly. I felt like the old, broken toy, unrepairable and dirt ground in not able to be cleaned.

I am not sure if it just was the particular kids I was surrounded by in my neighborhood or school system, I do not think so. I just never felt like fully relaxing into life, or excelling at anything. I think the problem was just with me. I didn't do horribly at anything and in many activities like some sports and art I was actually quite good. I felt coordinated and confident. But each time a bully pushed me down, insulted me or report card came back average, I continued to travel deeper and deeper into my own awkward darkness. I felt like the color grey up until about the age of 18. Then my palette began to emerge and I refused to be lonely. From college on, I have felt like a spectrum of gold and began to come into my own.

But childhood is always underneath though, for everyone. And from time to time these days, I feel those wounds, that self esteem, uphill battle creep into the back most layers of my psyche and come through, here and there, in my 30 year old adult experiences. From a survey I conducted, it showed that 100% of people felt they had one or more bullies within their childhood. 0% of those who voted chose the answer "I never had a bully." We all have sorrow and have all had school-aged struggles, each one of us! So I know we are all dealing with a patchwork past and have all had many opportunities to deal with sadness and anxiety.

As an Army wife, having to be alone often and meet new people almost all the time, there are plenty of opportunities to feel sad, scared, lonely, worried and filled with anxiety. Today I passed a woman in the store who I felt I had offended on accident the first time we had met. I was still adjusting from a serious jet lag, months after arriving at a new international home and was out of sorts when I met her at a Halloween party. She was kind to me and I was agitated with my toddler who kept running off out of my vision. I was hoping that my tired eyes and irritation with toddler-hood did not appear to be annoyance with her or our conversation. When I passed her today, she seemed like she did not want to talk to me, when we met eyes and recognized one another and I said a kind hello and she quickly said "hi" back and rushed past me. I felt anxiety for her thoughts. I felt anxiety thinking of that party and my daughter misbehaving. I felt anxiety for our time change. And I later found myself in my car hardly able to breathe over such a silly experience. She might have been having a bad day, or was in a hurry. She might think I am a bad mother. She might have just lost a loved one. She might have been totally fine and I was exploding my worries upon her image. It brought me home to thinking about letting go of silly things and reflecting upon my worrisome childhood spilling into my todays.

But in my sad adolescence came some bright rays of sun. Two separate times, I had two profound ideas each time strike into my mind as sure as a blinding, bright lightning crash into your front yard in the middle of the night. These ideals and epiphanies are what still guide me and my ease in life, to this day. And when repeated as a mantra, can release me from just about any anxiety.

The first bright light flew into and out of me when I was at a church self esteem-youth group meeting. The leaders were talking to us about love and relationships, and I think they even brought up sex. I was about 11 years old. They asked of us, "how do you think you know for sure if you are in a loving relationship?" The leader looked to me for a response and I immediately said (out of no where), "you cannot love anyone else until you know you love yourself." The youth leader was pretty much silenced and stopped dead in his tracks. He laughed and continued on, saying yes, I was right, but then had to dumb down the rest of the conversation for the other 11 and 12 year olds so they would understand. It was a profound thought for an 11 year old and the teacher told my mother how mature he thought I was. I had no idea why that flew out of my mouth, but it came from my subconscious.

The next crash of electricity came to me at the end of high school. I was feeling overwhelmed about arguing with my parents, preparing for college, feeling misplaced and lost, lonely and trapped in a maze of emotions I had no way of knowing how to get out of. And so I went to a journal that I had kept. It had artwork, magazine clippings and inspirational quotes in it. It was my place to go to make me feel better. And in it, this day, I wrote 5 clear, concise words to myself:

"When life gets complicated, SIMPLIFY."

And these would be the most profound words I repeated time and again to myself for the next 12 years. It is such a simple thing to do. Get rid of junk. Stop yourself from worrying about what other's think REMOVE those people from your life anyway. Let go of what you cannot control. Throw away the torture of things you wish you could change. Dump wasted heart ache into the trash. Clean your insides. Let go of, well, everything. And what you CAN control: SIMPLIFY. And feel the weight lift.

We have to love ourselves. We cannot do anything for anyone if we do not. If you feel busy, too busy for yourself or to be good to your kids or your family, stop all the running around. Hey, quit that job that keeps you busy! Whatever it might be that is preventing you from taking time to clean, relax, let go, enjoy, and just........be, be simple. Do not think about the way it might be complicated to let go of stuff......just simplify. Usually the hardest decisions are the easiest answers. Straight and to the point, one solution. It is our emotions that complicate it all. Let go of your emotions. Simplify. Throw away clutter. Wipe the slate clean.

Clutter can even be things we cherish....we just have to get rid of some of our "stuff" in order to feel tidy, in order to release old feelings we might have attached with the things. This can be an example of cluttered emotions or an example of the material things in your home or space and often times these examples can go hand in hand.

And one thing that is hard to do is, if you have something in your life that bothers you, irritates you or brings you down, change it! And if for some reason you cannot change it, then change how you feel about it.

So to remind again, love yourself first. And when life gets complicated, simplify.

Relaxation is a way to love one's self. And from there comes the quiet to know how to simplify.

My favorite recommendation for relaxing is a simple meditation. When you have a chance to be alone, or are laying in bed trying to get to sleep at night:

1. close your eyes softly

2. relax the muscles of your face

3. relax your tongue

4. relax and loosen the place where your thumbs root into your hands

5. let your belly be at ease

6. and finally, relax your feet and toes

From there, give all your troubles to the atmosphere around you, outside of you, the sky or to a prayer, let them float away from you for just a moment in an exhalation and just..........be. Then the clear choices will eventually and lightly materialize into your mind and ease and relaxation will be gifted to you, if not right away, surely it will come in swift time. I promise.

As those troubles come back down, returning into you, now that your mind is more at ease and clear, the solutions balance, order and regulate themselves quite simply. Today feeling all out of sorts about my new life, I remembered my simplicity. I let go of worry about what others think, it is none of my business anyway. And if I see that fellow military wife again, I will stop her, tell her I had a hard time getting used to this time zone and hope I never offended her. If she feels strange about me, we are not in line to be friends anyway. If she thinks I am nuts, then we will most likely have a good laugh! And that is that. Now, onto reading my anxiety-free book and feeling simple.

Love, Peace and Rock n' Roll y'all

Heart Songs and Happy Bellies

We have been blessed to be so enjoying getting to know our new Japanese friends, while living in Okinawa. We met this wonderful family at a festival when our children were smiling at one another. The husband, Kunyo expressed wanting to learn English better and we expressed the same about our journey toward learning his language. So we exchanged telephone numbers and have been having regular dinner parties at each other's homes every other weekend or so and stumbling and laughing through translation, ever since. It has been a fantastic, joyous and loving learning experience.

We had Kunyo's family over to our home the last time. At this party his wife, Yayuee asked me what kind of food was my favorite. Not at all yet speaking one another's languages well, I took her to my pantry and showed her what I usually cook. Before ever moving to Japan, my favorite food has always been sushi since my freshman college dorm roommate introduced me to it. Sushi dinners became a regular thing with my sisters and I over the years, also. Both my my college roommate and sisters taught me the way and I have been hooked on this light, healthy and artistic food for over 12 years now. So I showed my new friend my sushi-seaweed-rolling sheets (Nori) in my pantry and signaled in silly sign language that sushi was my number one favorite dish. She then explained to me, through our mobile phone translator application, that she would have a sushi rolling party for me and my family soon. I was elated.

When it came time to go to their home for our next dinner party, I knew it was the "sushi rolling party" this time around. What did that mean? Was I supposed to bring my own supplies to have for us or them, or to contribute? She knew I had my own Nori, was I supposed to swap sushis with her? Our language barrier was not so much of a problem until this past Saturday when I had no idea what to do or bring?! So I figured, she knew we were Americans and clueless about this kind of event. So like true Americans, we baked an apple pie and came with some other small gifts of gratitude to present to them and that was that. I felt good about it.

It was a joy to see their family again and to be in their home for our second time. All the kids started to warm up to the other family's adults. We all seemed to be continuing the getting-to-know-each-other-journey through sincere smiles and warm laughs and the growing small bits of education we struggle to have for each other's foreign language worlds. They even presented us with a wide array of Christmas gifts, knowing this was a big American tradition coming in December, which they do not really celebrate. They gave us things like Sake wine, Japanese fall jackets for both Chad and me, flip flops custom made with our daughter Mirabelle's name carved into the shoes, one shoe with her name in English, the other with her name in Japanese, a fabulous princess dress up set they knew she would love and for her also a gorgeous traditional Japanese wooden doll. They also gave me a card with Japan's islands and cities listed in English so we could better understand where the adults were all born and what cities each of our gifts were from. These are truly heart felt and wonderful, gracious gifts. They spoiled us with their abundant kindness!

After the gift exchange, came my favorite part of the evening, the table filled with FOOD. This was not just food. It was a plethora of nourishing, fresh and flavorful local fare. I felt at ease when she began to explain (through a translating friend) how she wanted us to dig in. The hostess did not make us feel dumb, Yayuee simply knew we most likely had never been to a home dinner party of this kind and I knew she was bringing out the best for us. She told us to each take a piece of Nori (seaweed-sushi roller paper) place on it a pile of rice, a piece of beautiful fish, lettuce, tofu, hot wasabi or whatever we wanted from the spread and she showed us how she rolled it right up and dipped it in soy sauce and began to eat it, without cutting it, just like a burrito. It was just like the sushi maki rolls you would see at any sushi restaurant or grocer, without all the cutting and presentation. I loved every second of it and we could personalize all of the food we each enjoyed on our own.

There was a gigantic bowl of sticky rice for the whole table to share. We each had our own rice spoon to use for constructing our rolls.

Even their children (who are 1 and 3) ate the sushi. My daughter does not seem interested yet in the seaweed wraps but we are working on it through continually offering it to her. I love how healthy all of the Japanese children eat from day one and so then, inevitably throughout their lives.

We had fresh, raw Salmon, Shrimp, Tuna and Mackerel to choose from, as well as Squid tempura and Mackerel tempura (which is lightly fried fish). There was pickled radish salad, salmon, cucumber and octopus salad, egg salad sandwiches, tofu with a scallion sauce, local seaweed salad, miso soup, spicy fried chicken, fresh bread and macaroni salad. If you could not find something you liked to eat at this table, there is something wrong with ya. We learned that not all Japanese people eat raw fish, just like Americans. So, there was something for everyone in their group of family and friends. I dove right in. The first time we were at their home I ate like a bird, pick, pick, didn't want to seem like a big, fat, rude American coming over. This time, and after knowing them better, I went for it. I ate the fish alone (sashimi style), in rolls and wasabi-ed up my plate and learned to enjoy and have a great time eating with them. I learned many things. For one, you do not have to be super tidy when eating their food. Often in sushi restaurants in America and Japan, I sometimes feel awkward while eating a hand roll or a piece too large to fit in my mouth in one bite. So what, they say! Get messy with it. Eat with your hands, devour, enjoy, if it crumbles and piles up on your plate with the first bite, scoop it up with your next bite. They often take their plates or bowls right to their mouth and literally shovel the goods into their head. I love it. It is very relaxing and it makes it seem (to who prepared it) as though you love and adore each bite you consume. Also, I had been told (I think by an American some time in my past) that it was inappropriate to take the wasabi and mix it around in your soy sauce creating a "wasabi soup" for dipping. Well, the woman who prepared the food, the lady of the house, a born and bread Japanese and a food expert who used to own her own food store, ate her wasabi and soy sauce that very way, stirred in. So never again will I feel timid about eating in a Japanese or sushi restaurant. Now I know what to do. For dessert were lovely hot cakes (they tasted just like American breakfast pancakes) with a soy and peanut paste topping. It was simply scrumptious.

The interesting thing about our friend's home is that their kitchen table is topped off by a huge TV at the foot of the table and end of the eating room! Their traditional Japanese kitchen table is on the floor, like usual, but what shocked me was how they watch TV the whole meal. A typical Japanese person will never have anything, not one thing left to prepare after their guests arrive. It is considered rude to be doing anything away from the conversation dinner table once a guest is in their home. If they have anything left to prepare after you have gotten there, they prepare it right at the table so as to not miss any time with their guests. It is quite a nice way to be. But then they had on show a variety of Japanese cartoons, game shows and movies all throughout our meal. The night was topped off with a television presentation of the home video of the wife giving birth to their 3 year old son! My husband and I felt completely natural about watching it while at their home and then snickered to ourselves after we left in conversation; "did you think that was odd?" "That would never be done in an American home dinner party!" "Would anyone like more squid?" We got a hearty chuckle. But like I said, it did not seem odd at the time, it just provided us with some laughing later on. They keep their delivery rooms and laboring Mothers very discreet with sheets and covering in Japan, as we clearly learned! They are laid back and kind, relaxing people to be around. We adore our new friends.

We adore as well, this invaluable experience the military has provided us of learning all about the details of the differences between our American and Japanese worlds, histories and traditions. We looked through Kunyo's high school yearbooks after dessert. They did not seem too much different from our own year books. I am pretty sure every single Japanese, school age kid wears a pristine uniform no matter where they go to school. And we could not understand what the hand positions were that they all made in their school photos? We asked and they did not know how to explain it to us. It was so funny, we would never wear uniforms at the public school I attended, but we would also never make a funny hand gesture in our school pictures, either! Mother would kill me if I didn't have a perfectly proper way to document myself at this age or that school year. It is so funny how things are backwards, different and twisted between the two cultures. What is proper at home is no big deal over here and vice versa. This brings me to a point that I feel in my bones and believe to be factual: though we may seem very, very different in specific, certain ways from one culture to the next, really when it comes down to it, we are all the same and balanced. It makes the heart sing and the belly happy to be spending time in another hemisphere and with these lovely people.

Sushi For Amateurs

Like picking a beautiful center piece, you cannot always select what you want just off an inspiration, an idea you want to create, or recipe you have in your mind. You must take yourself to your local store and find what looks good that day, what is in season and what looks fresh. Below, I have a simple tutorial on how to make a healthy sushi lunch (or dinner) for you and your family.

I started with the best looking veggies from the super market and all of these can be changed up to your taste. Just simply cut your veg in long thin strips...and no one is perfect, no need to fuss, just do the best you can with each vegetable. Here I have an example of Roma tomatoes (I take the seeds out to keep it all clean and mess-free), avocados and cucumber. I find these three especially, to be essential for my favorite sushis. Some hate tomato in their sushi...I love it (it goes great with salmon)!

My favorite flavor adders for sushi are green onion or chives and cilantro, these go well with fish but sushi can be vegetarian for sure. I have even learned recently from a Korean friend you can even add cooked chicken in your rolls. This is whatever goes sushi! Just pick your favorite stuff and chop it in thin strips and have fun...oh but no need to chop the cilantro, God made it just as it needs to be for sushi :)

While you are chopping your sushi ingredients, be sure to have your brown rice cooking on the stove. I make 6 servings of brown rice for my sushi projects and the left overs are ready to go and going in tonight's taco dinner (as does any left over onions or cilantro). Add a splash of rice vinegar to your rice...no need for any other sugar sticky-ness or specially bought rice. Keep it healthy and easy.

I am a fish lover so, today I asked what was super fresh this very morning and they gave me octopus and tuna. Though, this tuna looked a bit light in color, your good raw tunas should be dark red for sushi.

If you have never bought it before, this is what the sea weed wraps look like for sushi maki rolls or hand rolls, it is called Nori and these days almost every grocery store sells them in the ethnic/Asian foods isle...even in back woods, southern Georgia Publix grocers I found it once! But if you cannot locate it, find a health food store, they usually carry it because sea weed is so, so, SO darn good for us.

This is what the sushi roller-wrapper-thingy looks like. It is just a series of wooden rods tied together with string. They sell for about a buc fitty to $2. CHEAP! Also, these can be found everywhere like your grocery stores or health food/Asian market stores. If you cannot find a roller, use a wash cloth it helps guide your roll. So, once you have the roller placed down, then add the Nori paper on top, trickle on a little bit of cold water to the nori and layer a small amount of cooked rice.

Next you just have fun. The bigger your nori paper, the more stuff you can pile! This is a vegetarian example of how to start.

This is what it looks like with some fish.

And this is what we like to have a roll look like after the roller has guided us to seal up our yummy treats. You will coat your finger with cold water (helps to work by your kitchen sink) and put a line of cold water (which serves as glue to the nori) just before you finish the roll up and the paper should seal itself pretty well like a glued up burrito. Now, not every single go at this will be perfect. But enjoy the process, we aint no trained sushi chefs!!!

(you like my star window sun ornament? Thanks, I do too.)

Make sure when you go to slice the big roll into small pieces, you have a good, sharp knife, large in size. And with this knife you rinse it totally with cold water every second cut or so...this keeps things much more tidy, trust me. Otherwise, you end up smooshing your beautiful roll and rice and stuffing goes everywhere.

Like I said, the left overs go in the fridge for my next meal of yummy tacos....here's a tip, put your left over cilantro in a small glass of water in your fridge, it makes it stay fresh for about an extra day or so. Add some soy sauce to a small dish on the side for dipping and ENJOY!!!! This is healthy and filling and this particular day took me just the length of an episode of Curious George to prepare, and my daughter and I had about 4-5 big rolls to feast on!

The Song of Kirtan

I lean in

I lean over

hunched

Head hanging low with my

Furrowed brows in weeping grief

I feel the heart swell

open and gush, coated with a river of emotion.

From the river of devotion.

I resist

this resistance is sad

and makes me feel

feel

feel every one's

pain

in the whole entire world.

While,

I am trying

to help

myself.

In my rounded back

as an old woman's

struggling to walk right,

and move forward

I search inward.

Find the Light

and make it through another

four minutes

staying healthy.

What is this pain I feel?

This war of a thousand years? within me

and in each tiny piece of air?

around me.

through me.

taking me.

I walk through this life feeling the line that curves

through the middle of the yin and yang.

It is never black or white for me.

I dance within the gray

flowing as that river,

I paint the muddy colors of existence.

Dark and light browns with

streaks of red.

Dirty orange.

Grey-blues.

In through my nose

and

an exhale is

the wind

around me.

It never gets in

all the way...

or out for that matter.

My struggle with

Staying

healthy.

And what is the goal exactly?

Shape and tone?

Clean and vital?
The perfect Light?

How long does the journey inward exist?

How long does this screen play last?

Not long

once you close up,

turn the lights off

let go,

walk out

be the spectrum.

Feel the Light

that is

you.